One's Own

I left the baby in her crib to cry and work out her crankiness. I think she needed to be contained, first I hugged, rocked, and nursed her to lullabyes - why can't I spell lullabyes? - then I lay her in her crib to go it alone. Too much stimuli, perhaps, when you are one and everything is so much. Then I shut myself in the bathroom, sat on the damp bathmat and polished my nails, fingers and toes, warm from the radiator and the sunlight streaming in. It was all quiet. She slept, finally. I thought and patiently practiced the art of being alone.